Being a wife and a mother has seemed rather hard, very unrewarding and extremly exhausting. Yes- this post may be a little depressing. I am warning you now:) I don't know why but my heart feels so heavy the past few days. I can't seem to figure it out. Is it because I am preparing a talk on family? Is the adversary working on me? Is it because I cleaned the entire basement and then walked downstairs to find it pretty much trashed again? Is it because for two days in a row I have been interrupted while on the telephone? Does anything get noticed? Does anyone like my cooking? Why do I feel this way? I can usually pull myself out of the poor me's and I really don't like this feeling. I even went out with my 86 year old grandma yesterday for lunch and that was so fun, but then I slide right back into this funk. I hope it is just maybe my harmones. I am telling you what it better hurry and pass because I don't like it!!! While I was getting ready to clean-up the mess downstairs I found a small little reward in a notebook...
It is times like this that I wonder how anyone could love me. I truly am a MONSTER! It sure makes me thankful for my mom and for the many selfless hours that she continues to use for her children and grandchildren. I know what makes me feel better. CHOCOLATE:) oh and I will put on my Hillary Weeks and plug in my scentsy and get cleaning this house with all the love that this little od heart can muster up today and hope for a date with my hubby tonight. It is time I just get over it all. I have one hour before kids get home so I best hurry. In my mind I can see it now... shoes,backpacks, cracker crumbs, and the "mom can we do this... mom can so and so come... mom what are we doing tonight"? Ok Positive energy right? Right!
Happy FRIDAY!!!
3 comments:
Awwww, My Sweet Friend! How I love you so, It's sometimes good to see posts like these for others to see of what "REAL MOM'S" are all about. I don't know anyone more "REAL" than you. I don't envy you, Becky or any other young Mother, cuz I've been there too. One day-Trust me your kiddos will see and appreciate the Mother in you. And your rewards will be, watching your children raise your Grandchildren ") I wished I would have been Half the Mother that you are to your kiddos. I sure do love my Momma
I like this HONEST blog. Your daughters will need to see this in the future when they are reading your family journal. They will see that it is normal to have these days. It is not normal for them to be consistent but it sure is normal to feel the "poor me"s.
Now, remember how much you LOVE this holiday. Enjoy this weekend. I am still game for taking your kids. I mean it.
I love your honesty and putting it out there for others to realize they are not alone in all the things they, too, are feeling. I hated it when someone told me to enjoy the moment because it is fleeting. But, ...
I used to be their coach. I would yell instructions, tell them to try harder, and give them tools to hopefully succeed at their life endeavors. Once they grew up, I have become their cheerleader-and only their cheerleader! Gone are the times for "teaching" and "coaching". It is a lot harder from this position. You are a wonderful mother who is very hard on herself. Your children are thriving in their lives, especially in the GOSPEL! I pray one day you will see yourself as your children see you. They are much more forgiving of us than we are of ourselves. My kids don't remember half of the regrettable things I remember about myself. I love you and your family!!
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